Neil...Young Not Diamond...Although I Love Him Too

In another attempt to avoid doing my extra credit and rough draft questions for my Human Sexuality final (which is so tomorrow!) I decided to talk about my man, Neil Young! I saw him in concert a few years back. The Pretenders opened for him (although, we had gotten lost going to the concert and only caught their cover of the Needle and the Damage Done). It became quite cold as the night went on and all I had on were sandals, a t-shirt and jeans and I was freezing my ass off! He didn't sing Old Man but they did do a really rockin' version of Tonight's the Night. Oh, and during the show I had to fend off a drunk man and then as we walked to find the car (which didn't go well) we were cat called from passing vehicles because we happened to be two well-developed women in the chest area. Yelling, "yeah, I'd like to see you get on each other" is not the best way to introduce yourself! We found cops but I think they thought we were drunk (which we weren't) because we both gave different answers to what type of terrain the car was parked on (me: grass? friend: gravel?). On to Neil, though. As I have MANY Neil songs I will pick and choose randomly.

• Don't Let it Bring You Down - It's only castles burning/find someone who's turning/And you will come around...There's something very Western about this song to me even though it's really not country at all. It's more folky. But it makes me think of dust and heat and a place where everything is constructed out of wood. Oh and what's this? *dream sequence* I work at a the five and ten store. I have a husband who's not the nicest fella in the neighborhood. He drinks too much, comes home too late and gambles our money away. It gets me down. We have a little baby who I love to pieces; just wish his dad wasn't Harold (that's right, my drunk husband's name is Harold). Neil stops into the store a lot. He's relatively new to the area. He's very nice to me and always has good advice for me like don't let it bring you down! We have feelings for each other but I'm married! He shows his love for me in little ways, though. He'll buy a bag of beans and leave his change behind for me or he'll walk me home in the evenings. One night after I picked up little Harold from my sister's house, Neil walked me home and offered to make me and little Harold his. Said he couldn't stand for any woman he loved to live the way I had to because of Harold. I told him I'd think about but I could never just walk away from Harold.
• I Believe in You - Now that you found yourself losing your mind/are you here again? Neil won't take no for an answer. I explain to him that I don't see how I could leave Harold. I'm in a long red dress and wearing brown boots by the way. We're out in the back of the five and dime because Neil was making a scene in the store. It's a tense conversation. "I'm not that kind of girl. I won't just leave my husband because of how you feel." "But he'd leave you and you know it," Neil says to me as he plops his hat back on his head and walks away. He's right. He's such an honest and caring man. How can I say no? I don't have to think too long about that, though, because thankfully Harold has a massive heart attack at a poker game and I become a widow. After the appropriate amount of time for mourning for a husband I didn't love anyway, I and little Harold show up on Neil's doorstep. He welcomes us in...Now that you made yourself love me/do you think I can change it in a day/how can I place you above me/Am I lying to you when I say/that I believe in you.
• Helpless - There is a town in North Ontario...Hell, there's really nothing else to say. This song rocks so hard!
• A Man Needs a Maid - It's 1972. Neil is big time. I mean, he's done the Buffalo Springfield thing, he's done the Crosby, Stills & Nash thing, he's hung with Crazy Horse. He's no joke. He does need a maid. Just someone to keep my house clean/cook my meals for me/and go away (actually, I need a maid!). My feminist soul tries to ignore the whole "a man needs a maid" bit. Cause really, everyone needs a maid! A buff male maid who cleans my apt. while he's naked would be supernice.
• Tonight's the Night - Can you hear the frustration in Neil's voice? This man is on the verge of exploding from the misery/grief/sadness/etc. and when I'm in that frame of mind I put this song on. People let me tell you/he sent a chill up and down my spine/when I picked up my telephone/and heard that he died out on the mainline...Neil lost a couple of friends to heroin (the Needle and the Damage Done) and, thankfully, he has the gift of song to work out his issues with that. This song simmers and it boils, people.
• Everybody Knows This is Nowhere - Hmmm...*dream sequence* I've just moved to a little country town. Population is about 200. I like it because it's peaceful up here and the house was cheap to rent. I've come up here to paint/write/or something you do where you can be artistic and reclusive. I carry my groceries in a brown paper bag (like Mrs. Brady used to) from the corner store that Mrs. Jesson runs. Look, there's the little post office. "Hi, Tommy!" He's the town mechanic. I walk everywhere even though I own a car because the town is so little. It's full of quirky characters a la Baby Boom. Right now, though, I'm sitting on my front porch eating an apple and watching my dog run around the yard. I'm in a plaid shirt, jeans and barefeet. Ah, I love Nowhere.
• The Losing End - *dream sequence* My friend runs a cafe. Like Cafe Wha? or the Bitter End...that kinda cafe. They have open mic night there on Thursdays. I sing from time to time with a couple of friends. We exclude the electrified bits from the song to "keep it real." This is a favorite of mine to perform with Willy (who would be like Bob Dylan). My voice is more in the vein of a Judy Henske than a Joan Baez and when I pass the hat I always get lots of dough.
• Cinnamon Girl - Let me preface by saying that I seem to have a fascination with being a groupie *dream sequence*...So, I'm a groupie...I'm Neil's favorite when he's in town. So much so that he'll actually take me out on the road from time to time. He surprises me with this song which he says he wrote especially for me! He says my freewheeling ways are a turn on. I've got hair parted down the middle which is very long, I wear a slightly shear shirt with no bra, jeans and barefeet (it's the 70s!). I carry a ginormous purse that has fringe and beads on it. Everything about the song reminds me of him he says...the guitars, the clappy sound of the drums, the vocals...it's all freewheeling and rock and roll, like me!
• Down by the River - Be on my side/I'll be on your side baby/there is no reason for you to hide...okay, except that you totally are trying to kill her!!! La la la la...yeah, those don't help soften it up. You shot her! Down by the river! Aw, man! I guess this is kind of like those old country songs where love goes wrong. I bet this is an awesome song in concert. He didn't do this either when I saw him live! I think he was with Crosby, Stills & Nash when he did this or am I making that up? This song makes me wish I could play guitar. It also makes me want to dance like a crazy hippie in a large outdoor concert!

I am a winner!!!

I can't believe I forgot to post this bit of news...bragging rights really...on 3/31/07 I became the undisputed champion of Scene It? Music edition at Jada & Stacey's house. I won two out of three games all while drinking rum and Diet Pepsi! At this time, my mutant power of recognizing album covers exposed in bits and pieces was revealed to me! It was very X-Meny. How I will use this power to fight evil, I'm not sure. I don't know that being able to pick out Who's Next by the Who in say five seconds just from the upper left hand corner of the picture will deter crime or anything but it's nice to know I can do it!

Guess what's playing in the background? Yup, Hall & Oates!!!

• I Can't Go for That - Love this song...I can't go for that/No can do. Who puts that in a song?! I remember as a little girl that Hall & Oates were one of the only white acts (besides old school Madonna) that got played on the Black radio station in my city. You know why? Cause it's got a nice beat and you can dance to it! Oh, plus there's a saxophone in it!
• Kiss on My List - I think this song displays what is the genius of Oates as a co-vocalist. All that "bop bop bop bop" in the background is what makes the song really sweet. Hall may have been the resident hottie but Oates was bringing his own game (and moustache) to the band. Oh, and this guitar solo is bangin'!
• Maneater - Does this song remind any one else of a tune by Luther Vandross (can't think of what this is right now)? No? Hmmm. Well, anyways, the best part in here is "whooaa here she come/watch out boys/she'll chew you up/she's a maneater!" I wanted to be a maneater when I was little because of this song. Hell, I STILL want to be a maneater!
• One on One - I LUUUUUUUUUV this song and I want to slow dance to it! Oh, what's this?! Did someone say it's like 1983 and I'm wearing a lot of animal print? Neon, too?! Shoulder pads? Big earrings? High heels and socks? Lace, too?! Big tall hair? Leggings? And I'm slow dancing with my boyfriend (who would be like the Nic Cage character in Valley Girl)?
• Out of Touch - You're out of touch/I'm out of time/But I'm outta my head when you're not around! I may have to use that line on someone. Preferably at work where that kind of comment would be weird.
• Private Eyes - Wait, am I remembering the video? Were they wearing trench coats?! The videos back in the day were such literal interpretations of the songs and I, for one, miss that! Where's the innocence people?! Are those handclaps I hear (Private Eyes/*clap*/they're watching you/*clap clap*)or is it that funky drum they had in the 80s that was like a black flat disc? Remember those?
• Rich Girl - Why does everyone have issues with rich girls? I guess they have a rep of being bitchy. I guess I would too if I could afford to buy people! This song is kinda like "Uptown Girl" by Billy Joel only much cooler.
• Sara Smile - I am about to make this my first born daughter's name! This is such a great song! It's you and me forever Sara! Actually, I have a friend named Sara and I'm about to make this our song! I should probably inform her of that. It will be more fun, though, if it'd randomly come on while I was in her company and I began to serenade her with it! I think there was a story behind this song, too. Hall was really close to his gf's sister, Sara, or something and she died?! See, that's how rumors get started!
• She's Gone - I just freaked out a friend of mine by "singing" this through IM. She was like, "Who's gone? What happened?!" I like the hushed vocals of this one. Not hushed like whispering baby lullaby hushed but hushed in the Hall & Oates don't give you that much bass vocally in their songs. What went wrooooooong/Oh I?!
• You Make My Dreams Come True - If I ever get married my groom and I are sooo dancing to this! I like that staccato thing Hall is doing with the song. Uh uh uh uh. Yeah, that's nice. Who was their keyboard player? I like this dude! And, again, the genius of Oates vocals is revealed in the back. You-u-u-u-u.
• Adult Education - This song makes me want to be a Solid Gold dancer. I see sequins, a leotard, a headband...there's a lot of turns, a lot of kicks, arms reaching to the sky, head twirling and a lot of serious bedroom eye looks at the camera. Yes! Right left right, ooooh, dooown, up!! 5-6-7-8! Genius of Oates is present in the guitar solo!

I don't want to know your name, cause you don't look the same

I've become obsessed with glam rock all over again. I get in moods with things (especially music) and I just seem to be in a glammy glittery mood. It's probably because I watched Velvet Goldmine about a week ago and I forgot how awesome that movie is. Oh, (swoon) Jonathan Rhys-Meyers...(he's bulked up to play in the Tudors and still looks as delicious as ever but there's something about a man in make up that just makes me weak)...you wanna be Bowie you, making out with Ewan McGregor (who will find an excuse to get naked in any movie--and I don't mind). The songs just got me in that mood for glam...I've been playing Sweet like they just came out (I am making Fox on the Run the anthem for my queendom) and Mott the Hoople, New York Dolls and Bowie. I don't have any T. Rex. Why not? I need to work on that. I'm actually watching clips of Sweet on YouTube from Top of the Pops. Can someone remind me it's not 1974? I'm ready to get a conversion van, have flames painted on the side, get some fuzzy dice for the rear view, and some shag carpet to lay down. Get me platform boots STAT!

Flatiron

Just a brief word...do not cut your own bangs unless you know what you are doing! Why does my hair resist me?! I can't ever get just a little cooperation! Urgh!

Why don't you come to your senses?

Let's talk about The Eagles, shall we?! I like them. I said it. I sing along when they come on the radio. In fact, I turn it UP and sing along. It took me a long time to admit it but I actually enjoy listening to their 70s AM country rock. Let me set the scene for each song of theirs I have in my iTunes library. All takes place in the 70s and I somehow resemble a Band-Aid in various songs.

• "Desperado" - I wear a halter top, tight jeans and cowboy boots. My hair is long and feathered. I probably drive a Chevelle. I sleep with lots of "prominent" men...okay rockstars so that means I'm a groupie. I inspire the songs they write. We try to make it work but too many girls and other rockstars get in the way. We're too ships passing in a very large mansion in the Hollywood Hills. I'm the girl that they could imagine settling down with but, alas (I love this word--it's so over the top), I leave before they wake. Ah, the pain as they clutch the side of the bed and realize I'm not there.
• "I Can't Tell You Why" - I'm at the prom. Feathered hair again. My dress is powder blue with an empire waist and short puffy sleeves. I've gone to the prom with my dorky next door neighbor. The quaterback of the football team and I have a secret love (cause I'm a dork, too) and make googly eyes at each other across the gym floor, through the streamers and balloons as we dance with our respective dates.
• "The Long Run" - Road trip!!! I'm joined by three of my best friends. We're the popular girls in our high school. Said high school is probably named something like Calvin Coolidge High. We've graduated from high school and we're not going the college or marriage route. We decide to drive around til we find a city that turns us on. This is probably how I end up becoming a Desperado groupie.
• "Hotel California" - This song is gold right here people! Remember that scene in Forrest Gump when Jenny leaves her druggie boyfriend? That's what this song reminds me of. I've gone too deep off the Desperado groupie ledge. One too many drummers and lead singers have left me broken hearted and using cocaine as a salve instead of ice cream proves to be my undoing! I'm probably found in a *gasp* hotel room overdosing. A maid by the name of Espinoza with a heart of gold calls for help and saves my life. I decide to get my act together and leave California for Arizona. Why not? I own a Chevelle!
• "In the City" - Slumber party at Tammy's house! We play The Eagles on her record player and use jump ropes as microphones. Sing it girls, "In the City/Uh huuuuh." We talk about how hot Glenn Frey is.
• "One of These Nights" - I've picked this song out on the jukebox. I'm on the dancefloor by myself in a divebar down the street from my crappy tiny apartment. I'm hot shit. I've got the 70s sex vibe all sewn up! I have shiny red lip gloss on and, yes, feathered hair! My cork platform shoes, little shorts and ruffled top keeps all the guys eyes on me.
• "Peaceful Easy Feelinig" - I'm laying in a hammock on a farm that a friend of mine owns. She invites people out all the time cause the house is too big to be in by herself. The house is full of would be artists, hangers on and creeps. The backyard is awesome, though, because I get to lay in the shade and nap in the breeze. In the evenings we have sing alongs on the porch while we drink Wild Turkey!
• "Take it to the Limit" - So my main rockstar boyfriend is really missing me. Life on the road in the bus (or jet) leads him to thinking about me and the good times we had. Oh, other girls try but they're no me. His band reaches their destination ("Hello, Toledo!) and he calls me from the hotel room. I pick up. "Hello," he says. There's a long pause. "I've been thinking about you," he says. "I can't," I say knowing this will lead to the 1000th reconciliation. There is mushy chatter back and forth and I give in. "I'll be home when you get back," I say. After all, who can resist a rockstar? Take it to the limit one more tiiiime!!!
• "Witchy Woman" - Does anyone else think of bongs and beaded curtains? Okay, well I do. From across the room and through the cloud of marijuana smoke I seduce a newcomer to the rockstar fold. He's an accountant. Maybe he's from a strict Christian household. He took this job for experience and the guys keep him around mainly to make fun of him and give him a hard time (and because someone has to balance the books). "What if someone finds us?" I laugh. I deflower him.
• "New Kid in Town" - This would be fitting for the above situation, too, but what I really think of is the end of a party. It's time to clean up the mess. Plastic cups and ashtrays need emptied and the floor needs swept. People need woken up and told to go home. "Jimmy! Jimmy! Get up man! Yeah, the party's over!" After the clean up I lounge on a couch with my friends. "Who's hungry?" one of them asks. Me! We then head to a local greasy spoon for breakfast, coffee and a recap of the night's events.

Now you know what I think when The Eagles come on the radio. Perhaps I've shared too much but I have to have some "excuse" for why it's okay to rock out to them!

5 Things You Don't Know About Me

Jessy tagged me! Damn it!! So here are my 5 things:

1) I can fold my thumbs onto the back of my hands. While this won't get my into the circus I still love that I can do it.

2) I won a ribbon as a "potato racer" in elementary school.

3) I was prom princess my senior year of high school.

4) I have been in college for-ev-er!!

5) I love/loathe horror films. Especially 80s slasher flicks.

This is what friends will do to you

So, I was told that I needed to start a blog by a dear friend of mine. She has a way of talking me into things that I would never venture to do without some prodding. You know the type of thing. Buying skirts even though you never wear skirts. That kind of stuff. So, here I am with a blog! She has given me a letter to start with. The letter is N. How very Sesame Street. I decided to go through my iTunes library to see what I have that begins with N.

Artist:

• Neil Young - I love him. I have even paid to see him in concert. Something about that voice which I know to some is an acquired taste. I think I like the fact that he's not really a very good singer but he does it anyway. Kinda like me! Favorite songs: "I Believe in You" "Tonight's the Night (part 1)" and "Everybody Knows This is Nowhere." Those kind of songs make me wish it was 1975 and I was living in California. I somehow will end up living a very "Hotel California" existence but I'm gonna do it anyway. That is before the 80s comes and I end up in rehab.
• Nelly Furtado - I only have one song by her and that's "Promiscuous." Now, that's some good ass shaking music right there. Almost anything with Timbaland in the background is garaunteed to get me to move ("SexyBack" by Justin Timberlake, anyone?).
• Nico - Ahhh, I don't listen to this much but when I do I feel the need to dress in black and wear big dark sunglasses and carry a journal with me. A journal hopefully full of deep and groundbreaking thoughts but it actually is empty. I only actually bought this because of The Royal Tenenbaums movie and I'm glad I did.
• Nine Inch Nails - Again, only one song and it's "Hurt." I figure since I love the Johnny Cash version so much why not listen to the original?

Albums:

What? I have no albums that begin with N? Hmpf! All that I seem to have is one song from:

• Nuggets Volume 2 - The Human Beinz "Nobody But Me." I haven't heard this in forever. And now that I'm playing it I realize it was used in a commerical for Pringles potato chips, I believe. Ew!

Songs:

I'm not going to make this long so I'll randomly pick from the list.

• No Aloha - The Breeders - This reminds me of riding the train to Philly. I was going out there a lot a few years ago and this predates my iPod because I have distinct memories of looking at the landscape holding a big black portable cd player and trying to keep the stranger in the seat next to me from laying his head on my shoulders during his nap.
• No Distance Left to Run - Blur - Don't you just want to go to the bar, have like 8 beers and sing this with your arms around your friends after your relationship crumbles?! I do!!
• No Quarter - Led Zeppelin - Okay, I came to the realization about 2 weeks ago that Zeppelin is my second favorite band of all time that was formed before I was! Uh huh, go ahead and judge but I swear these guys are awesome. Turn up No Quarter really loud, turn your lights off (hell, get a blacklight while your at it) and just zone out!
• Not Great Men - Gang of Four - If you don't own anything by them go out and get it now. Is that a harmonica or an accordian in here?!! Another great band gauranteed to get your ass shaking whether you want it to or not.
• Nothing Compares 2 U - Prince - I remember when Sinead O'Connor did this song and I HATED it. Hearing the original (which I believe is a live recording) by Prince featuring Rosie Gaines changed my mind, though. I love to sing along with this and pretend my computer keyboard is a piano. He is one sexy and talented androgynous beast!

Well, that's it. Since I'm a novice have mercy when you read it. Also, let me quickly say that I am obsessed with almost any food they sell in those 100 calorie packs. Let's ignore the fact that I will eat 3 bags at one time which defeats the whole purpose of the portion control they're trying to provide but they're just so darned cute!