- "Desperado" - I wear a halter top, tight jeans and cowboy boots. My hair is long and feathered. I probably drive a Chevelle. I sleep with lots of "prominent" men...okay rockstars so that means I'm a groupie. I inspire the songs they write. We try to make it work but too many girls and other rockstars get in the way. We're too ships passing in a very large mansion in the Hollywood Hills. I'm the girl that they could imagine settling down with but, alas (I love this word--it's so over the top), I leave before they wake. Ah, the pain as they clutch the side of the bed and realize I'm not there.
- "I Can't Tell You Why" - I'm at the prom. Feathered hair again. My dress is powder blue with an empire waist and short puffy sleeves. I've gone to the prom with my dorky next door neighbor. The quaterback of the football team and I have a secret love (cause I'm a dork, too) and make googly eyes at each other across the gym floor, through the streamers and balloons as we dance with our respective dates.
- "The Long Run" - Road trip!!! I'm joined by three of my best friends. We're the popular girls in our high school. Said high school is probably named something like Calvin Coolidge High. We've graduated from high school and we're not going the college or marriage route. We decide to drive around til we find a city that turns us on. This is probably how I end up becoming a Desperado groupie.
- "Hotel California" - This song is gold right here people! Remember that scene in Forrest Gump when Jenny leaves her druggie boyfriend? That's what this song reminds me of. I've gone too deep off the Desperado groupie ledge. One too many drummers and lead singers have left me broken hearted and using cocaine as a salve instead of ice cream proves to be my undoing! I'm probably found in a *gasp* hotel room overdosing. A maid by the name of Espinoza with a heart of gold calls for help and saves my life. I decide to get my act together and leave California for Arizona. Why not? I own a Chevelle!
- "In the City" - Slumber party at Tammy's house! We play The Eagles on her record player and use jump ropes as microphones. Sing it girls, "In the City/Uh huuuuh." We talk about how hot Glenn Frey is.
- "One of These Nights" - I've picked this song out on the jukebox. I'm on the dancefloor by myself in a divebar down the street from my crappy tiny apartment. I'm hot shit. I've got the 70s sex vibe all sewn up! I have shiny red lip gloss on and, yes, feathered hair! My cork platform shoes, little shorts and ruffled top keeps all the guys eyes on me.
- "Peaceful Easy Feelinig" - I'm laying in a hammock on a farm that a friend of mine owns. She invites people out all the time cause the house is too big to be in by herself. The house is full of would be artists, hangers on and creeps. The backyard is awesome, though, because I get to lay in the shade and nap in the breeze. In the evenings we have sing alongs on the porch while we drink Wild Turkey!
- "Take it to the Limit" - So my main rockstar boyfriend is really missing me. Life on the road in the bus (or jet) leads him to thinking about me and the good times we had. Oh, other girls try but they're no me. His band reaches their destination ("Hello, Toledo!) and he calls me from the hotel room. I pick up. "Hello," he says. There's a long pause. "I've been thinking about you," he says. "I can't," I say knowing this will lead to the 1000th reconciliation. There is mushy chatter back and forth and I give in. "I'll be home when you get back," I say. After all, who can resist a rockstar? Take it to the limit one more tiiiime!!!
- "Witchy Woman" - Does anyone else think of bongs and beaded curtains? Okay, well I do. From across the room and through the cloud of marijuana smoke I seduce a newcomer to the rockstar fold. He's an accountant. Maybe he's from a strict Christian household. He took this job for experience and the guys keep him around mainly to make fun of him and give him a hard time (and because someone has to balance the books). "What if someone finds us?" I laugh. I deflower him.
- "New Kid in Town" - This would be fitting for the above situation, too, but what I really think of is the end of a party. It's time to clean up the mess. Plastic cups and ashtrays need emptied and the floor needs swept. People need woken up and told to go home. "Jimmy! Jimmy! Get up man! Yeah, the party's over!" After the clean up I lounge on a couch with my friends. "Who's hungry?" one of them asks. Me! We then head to a local greasy spoon for breakfast, coffee and a recap of the night's events.
Now you know what I think when The Eagles come on the radio. Perhaps I've shared too much but I have to have some "excuse" for why it's okay to rock out to them!
